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History

'Dave's Daily Haiku' was a segment of Chillmachine that ran from January 21st, 2012 through March 9th, 2012. Each day, a new haiku was posted. Examples of topics covered include retro video games, Seinfeld, Mitt Romney, drugs, and rock music.

The Haikus

3/9/2012



Kids talk about drugs

They don't do them. They just talk.

Drugs are bad. Mmkay?



3/8/2012



Drink expired milk

And you will get fairy wings

No. Wait. Angel wings. note: because you'd be dead



3/7/2012



Honey pot blues, yo

Know what I'm sayin'? Yeah, boi?

Bush. Name: Sixteen Stone.



3/6/2012



Hot pockets are bleck

Especially the meatball

I threw out food. Damn.



3/5/2012



Last of the rock stars

Rats live on no evil star

Rocks cannot be stars



3/4/2012



Vanilla wafer

Who eats those things anyway?

Bob Dole! Bob Dole! Bob...



3/3/2012



Achin' for bacon?

You are tempting me, woman!

Trees are people, too!



3/2/2012



Bad: hurting people

True: cheating is defeating

Play by the rules, kids



3/1/2012



Farmer Fred At Work

Take your otter to work day

Balance a ball, Jack!



2/29/2012



Underwater song

Got stuck in the Minus World

Do the Mario!



2/28/2012



Sun is lollipop

Then the important question...

Where did the stick go?



2/27/2012



Make me a sandwich

Emerald City metal

Greenness turns to black



2/26/2012



Beavis and Butt-Head

The way the world needs to be

Happiness returns



2/25/2012



I speak some French words.

Je voudrais acheter une femme.

The horizon falls.



2/24/2012



Ryan Braun cheated

Aaron Rodgers defended

Discount doublecheck!



2/23/2012



Honey pot madness

Whinnie the Pooh is on smack

In: the bee police



2/22/2012



Giant gorilla

Ate all the peanut butter

Oh. And bananas.



2/21/2012



Sandwiches are good

Whole wheat bread is good for you

Infinite beef code



2/20/2012



Do not veto me!

I am a nice guy! Really!

Garble blarble! *Ow*!



2/19/2012



The Jerk Store Called.

That Does Not Make Sense. Jerk Store?

Why Sell Jerks? Hrm. Weird!



2/18/2012



Culture of VULTURES!

Where did all the hippies go?

Oh, technology!



2/17/2012



Everything is brown

Color spectrum is a lie

Heh heh. Guess what's Brown!



2/16/2012



Open up your heart

No, wait: that would hurt a lot

Open up your BRAIN!



2/15/2012



Oh my Lord, so cold

Global warming: killing us!

Shortest month of year



2/14/2012



LMFAO

Partying for a Grammy

Party rockers: rock



2/13/2012



Moon is made of cheese

Cheese came out of the big bang

Matter. It matters.



2/12/2012



Cannot get it up?

You play Atari today

Really cold outside



2/11/2012



Spock has no feelings

William Shatner gets you deals

I am the walrus



2/10/2012



Chewbacca, wookie

Peanut butter chip, cookie

Did it all, nookie



2/9/2012



Skeleton people

Peering skeleton peephole

Pervert skeletons



2/8/2012



New York Giants win

New York Yankees do not win

Eagles? Tecmo Bowl



2/7/2012



Vampire movies

Except they do not suck blood

Teenage girls scream "Yes"



2/6/2012



Smoke a pot of gold

Like trees are made out of wood

You are made out of...



2/5/2012



Party Rock Anthem

Hamsters dance, mosquitoes sing

Remember The Beets?



2/4/2012



Castlevania

Sucked by Dracula

Metallica Rocks



2/3/2012



New Kid Icarus

I want it. I want it now.

I want it now. Now.



2/2/2012



Are you reading this?

I have no way of knowing.

Or do I? HA HA!



2/1/2012



Aliens have come

They are allergic to air

Crappy plot twist end



1/31/2012



The Geico Caveman

Slurs his words like a hero

Hairy, hair, hair, hair!



1/30/2012



Atari excites

My pole position is hot

You know what I mean



1/29/2012



Fast food is not good

It will give you Super AIDS

Eat slow food instead



1/28/2012



Dinosaur Office

Scream when they talk, eyes pop out

More Ovaltine please!



1/27/2012



Zombies eat people

But we stole their land, of course

People eat zombies



1/26/2012



Link the Keebler Elf

Should make delicious cookies

Flavor saves Hyrule.



1/25/2012



VHS is dead

And rubber is a liquid

That... is what she said.



1/24/2012



My Game Boy Color

Violet like a Barney

Still cool anyway!



1/23/2012



Truth about the world

Constructed of Tetris blocks

Call security



1/22/2012



Luigi, alone

Second place to Mario

Takes shrooms to ease pain



1/21/2012


NES game carts

They need love: blow into them

No, wait: Use windex

Video

Dave's Daily Haiku 1-1002:29

Dave's Daily Haiku 1-10

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