Girls is a pretty funny show. It has some really nice humor from producer and writer, Judd Apatow, and features the riffage with, well, the girls, Sex in the City style, but more with the feminist humor. There was, of course, a lost episode. You hear that? A literal LOST episode of Girls. The episode was, of course, called "Jessa's Flu." HBO denied the episode's existence, as with producer Judd Apatow, and they vowed to never air this episode... EVER! And after doing research, this episode was suppose to air on March 17, 2013, as a season 2 finale, but was replaced with "Together," which had the same scenes as the lost episode. The lost episode was eventually lost, literally, forever, until the other day, when I found the DVD copy of that episode.
I'm a TV writer for a children's preschool show, but I always hate Sesame Street, Reading Rainbow, and Mr. Rodger's Neighborhood and love the shit out of Barney, Teletubbies, The Wiggles, and Dora the Explorer. But the people at Sesame Workshop hired me to be a television writer for Sesame Street, after looking at my crayon doodles from my Denny's kids menu. There was suppose to be a guest star by the name of Renaldo, who had studied dancing in the school of the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.
Of course, now, Renaldo looked like he was gonna have a heart attack when he came in to the set, and was vomiting out a DVD that said, "GIRLS JESSA LOST EPISODE" in Comic Sans font, with a stock picture of a horse, which was the part that I got the disc. I stole the disc from him and ran off without any notice, fearing to get another job, and I rode my tricycle to my $10 million apartment in Los Angeles. I couldn't take the bus because of strangers, I don't know how to ride a bike or a car, and I fear about walking. But finally, I got home. I managed to eat a bowl of ALF's cereal, put the lost episode of Girls on DVD to the player, turned on the TV, and pushed play.
The episode begins with a Mountain Dew soda bottle, and cuts to the Doritos chips bag. They have nothing to do with the episode other than the fact that, what I'm assuming, they were promoting Mountain Dew and Doritos. The scene cuts to Hannah Lorvath, the main character of the show, looking disheveled. She looked like she was gonna break down crying. She then mutters about Jessa, which is one of her friends of the show. The scene cuts to the college, and Hannah, Jessa, and the other two main girls, Marnie and Shoshanna looked highly-realistic, as well as depressed.
They started talking about Meg Griffin. The music, which seems to be similar to the moon level from the Legend of Zelda: Mijora's Mask, play. Then, I heard outside, while watching the episode, Jessa, or what sounded like Jessa, but meaner and sinister like, as she mentioned about giving me her disease, which she also gave to Renaldo. Strange, I didn't think Jessa would give- wait a minute. She's the same girl from the show, except she's the one with the flu! I continued watching, though.
There was a scene were Jessa looking horribly frightening! It seems that she was eating the Doritos and drinking the Mountain Dew. Wait a minute, so the Mountain Dew had to do with the plot, as with the Doritos!
"Where's the fucking pencil?!" she yelled in a twisted voice, "I wanna write down the part that I gave Meg Griffin the ebola!"
Wait, ebola? Ebola?! Did this predicted the ebola outbreak of this year? I mean, this episode was made in 2013, how can this be?!
She screamed, "I want my pencil you bitch!" and slammed Hannah's face, as realistic blood dripped down. But that's not all... this part really disturbed me. We cut to funeral home, where Jessa and her friends were hosting a funeral for Hannah. The crowd was full of skeletons with funny looking hats. Um... okay? Jessa claimed that Hannah killed herself.
I then noticed that this episode was done by Pixar. In fact, the characters from Monsters Inc. appeared in the front seats. Looks like Mike and Sully were wearing top hats like the skeletons.
The scene had Marnie and Shoshanna looking expressionless, as I saw Jessa holding Hannah's corpse with Doritos and Mountain Dew, and the picture of 9/11. Marnie got scared and said, "Why did you do this?" Jessa then swallowed her tongue and sends out Mike, Sully, and the skeletons, as they dance on top of the casket, and hit Marnie and Shoshanna with a baseball bat! The ambulance appeared out of nowhere, and ran over the bodies of Marnie and Shoshanna, and highly-realistic gore appeared! And then, there was a picture of a horse and the words say in huge Comic Sans font, "YOU'RE WINNER, JESSA."
This is when I shut the DVD off! I couldn't handle more of this! Then, someone broke to my house and stole my ALF cereal box. Wait a second, they probably were Doritos. Shit, they were! Jessa appears to have the cereal box, because she was right behind me, and she was naked.
"I am gonna give you ebola, just like how I gave it to Renaldo and Meg Griffin." she munched the ALF cereal in front of me and spat the food in my face! She then sends out Mike and Sully! "One more time, you're green with it!" I then ran over to the counter, as I found my prized story I written with a crayon at Denny's. "That is not a script! That is a doodle!" I then cried, as I scream bloody murder and died of ebola.
I then woke up, and I saw a light. Who could it be? It was a horse, with a skeleton riding. The skeleton had a top hat, as he was laughing at me, and eating Doritos to my face.
So... yeah. A disease.