Once upon a time, Jeff the Killer was sitting alone on a beach eating a picnic lunch. He ate some bacon and drank a glass of cool tall lemonade and began to smile. "This was the life", he smiled. He took a break from killing because he thought about it and realized it was wrong. He tried sending quarters and pennies to the families of the people he killed on notes written in red ink and they usually forgave him. It was like a huge hard-on, I mean burden was lifted from his shoulders.
Anyway that was when Rock the Mega Man came across him and kicked sand into his picnic bacon lunch!!!
"IF YOU ARE COLD DUDE LIKE ME, YOU WILL FIGHT ME IN THE MEGAMAN BEACH SURFING CONTEST! Winner earns a 12-pack of Diet Coke with Limenade!"
At that point Jeff was scared but he picked up his surfer board and headed to the waters. He had gotten hit in the head with bleach before and survived that, so this should be OK in comparison, right?"5 4 3 2 1!" shouted the referee, a short German man with a mustache and a red cap with an 'M' on it. He then bit into a peach.
Jeff the Killer hit the waters and things were getting cool until he turned around and GOT BITTEN BY THE SMILE DOG! Highly realistic gore flew everywhere while Jeff the Killer screamed in horror.
"Listen, if you're good I'll buy you McDonald's, ok?" Jeff bargained. Smile Dog wimpered and nodded his head and went away. Then Smile Dog sat in the water and licked himself like all doggies do, I guess.
At this point Mega Man was riding a tall wave and he was rusted a little bit because he's a robot and the tide hit him but it was OK. He accidentally hit the buoy and hyperrealistic blood and gore fell out of his robot chest. "Oh no!" Mega Man yelled. "But I love the taste of diet Dr. coke with Lime!"
That was when Mega Man had an ingenius idea.
"Dr. Light! Calling Dr. Light!"
Suddenly a tall elderly naked man with sunglasses and a gigantic (bleep) rode his skateboard until the beach and then grabbed his surfboard! He threw the surfboard at the buoy and it died! Highly realistic gore flew everywhere!
At this point Jeff the Killer had already won. The award ended up being RC Cola instead so he killed the prizemaster and since he returned to killing he wrote letters to the families of people he killed demanding their money back.
Written by Cjaymarch84