Pillsbury has a secret. A dirty one. You know their mascot, Pillsbury Dough boy? Well, he is a murderer. Everyone who eats Pillsbury products gets brutally murdered by Dough boy. Once, a man bought some crescent rolls. When he ate them the next day, he was found dead. He had 25 stab wounds in his back, and he had 31 stab wounds on his chest and stomach.
There was no apparent cause of the death, except for Pillsbury Dough boy. He was then a suspect. People then didn't buy Pillsbury products for 5 months until they forgot. 27 murders were committed all in one night. The next day, even more murders were committed. Then, the rise of the murders were dramatic.
The next week, there were 197 murders committed. The cops had no idea what to do. Ever since, people who would buy Pillsbury products were killed, and no one knew how to stop it. So by saying all of this, don't buy any Pillsbury product. It's dangerous.
You Wake up in the middle of the night, and you are hungry. Got that sweet tooth, and you feel like opening the fridge to grab yourself some of that tasty Pillsbury cinnamon roll that you had saved from yesterday's lunch. You open up the brown lunch bag where you got the cinnamon roll all wrapped up,warm just as you left it yesterday, though you notice it is a lot hotter than you had remembered it being, as if someone had warmed it up. You decide to ignore that small detail, and take a big bite out of that tasty cinnamon roll.
You close your eyes engulfing yourself in the warm yummy taste that roll, noticing how much better it tasted than before you had wrapped it up, and stuffed it in that brown lunch bag. You then suddenly hear a cartoony voice speak, and it clearly says to you "I hoped you loved it. I made it just for you" You quickly open your eyes, and look down below on the table to see a small white figure with a chef's hat looking menacingly at you with a butcher's knife in hand.