Whenever I think about the shows on the [adult swim], the first thing that comes to my mind is Robot Chicken. You know, a show where it's just a series of sketches involving '80s toy culture and other cartoon culture. Hell, the stop-motion animation has toy in them! I love Robot Chicken so much ever since its debut on February 20, 2005. I would watch the show time to time... little did I know that I would encounter... something tragic with the most beloved toy-torture series of America.
I, a 33-year-old man, was recently hired as a cashier at a local mom-and-pop's grocery store, just naming various food prices and whatnot. The owner/boss of the store gave me this job after writing down my education from my previous two high schools that I dropped out, and a current college that I go to, so yeah, I got the job. Working hard on the food and not cheating the customers, I had lots of fun working. Even my friends from my college go to this store, and I even see a really old couple and their 20-year-old son everyday here.
Well, as I was going to my normal day-shift job, something was strange. My owner/boss had called in sick, as he announced that he was having a head trauma, by falling on his head, while watching an episode of the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, as he was dancing to Uncle Phil from said show... dancing. That's not all, the old couple, that I always meet at the store, came in and were dressed so fancy that they were about to go to a funeral for their 20-year-old son that just died, for some unknown reason. So, for charity, they gave me a VHS player (or VCR if you will call it) to play VHS tapes. I was happy that I got a VHS player, so I thanked them for giving me that, since I haven't used it in a long time. So I decided, "You know what, I'm gonna go home. I'm really happy to see a VHS player for a long time!" and lucky enough, I found an actual VHS tape in the ground, and looking in good condition, surprisingly... minus the label, which was actually... well, weird. The label said, "ROBOT CHICKEN EPISODE π" in Times New Roman font. I guessed that it was Season 3, Episode 14. But wait, that was another Christmas Special of said show. Oh whatever, it was time to get the tape.
I got into my tricycle, and then an army of chickens were following me. An army of fucking chickens! The leader was the nerd with the glasses, who had the same counterpart as the nerd from the show. I rode my tricycle as fast as I can. Faster than lightning, mind you, and they keep following me! That is, until I got home, safe and sound. Well, at least as safe as I can say.
So I got home, went to my living room, and took my time to connect the VCR. Took a while to connect, since my TV adapters were connected so strangely, but what the hell, today was strange. What could be more strange? I finally put the VHS tape in the VCR, and... that's when the strange part began.
Instead of an actual opening to the show, I saw a chicken that wasn't even dead, he was alive, but he looked injured with highly-realistic blood on his whole body, as he was crying out loud, while mouthing, "OH MY GOD!" seven times. The mad doctor that always appears on the opening was absent, and replaced by Lee Harvey Oswald and his gun, doing their take on the JFK assasination. I thought that scene would play for laughs, but it's not actually funny. Hell, this scene wasn't meant to be funny, they were being serious! Lee Harvey shot the chicken, and magically turned it into a robot. Many of you think that this was a cold open to the show. Hell, I even thought this was a cold open. It's not. No.
During the opening, and right before the skits, the chickens bang on my door like the FBI. I got terrified, I lied to them at the door, while inside the house, with my best older lady voice, yelling, "Nobody is home. It's just the maid cleaning the house." I rushed back to my couch to watch the show.
The skits follow in this episode in order:
- The Nerd from the show vomits blood while being in serious depression, dragging for what seems to be 20 seconds before we go to the next skit.
- Tim the Toolman Taylor shoves California Rasins up his ass while drinking Mountain Dew and yelling, "OH MY GOD!," for what seems to be a minute.
- Barney the Dinosaur being locked up in the room while drowning in a sand castle.
- Steve Urkel becoming a demon when you watch this skit. Literally. It's him as a demon. Stare at him, he becomes a demon. He then proceeds to say something very chaotic, and at the same time, very predictable, while snorting, "DID I DO THAT?"
I had just enough. These skits drove me to insanity. I mean, what the fuck was this? I mean, this is not the same level as what Robot Chicken, the actual show, was!
So then, the chickens break in the door, and getting Colonel Sanders holding a butcher knife. I noticed that his apron said, "I WAS OWNED BY TACO BELL" in a very ridiculous Comic Sans font. I ran! Ran as fast as I can to get to the house phone to dial the police. Sanders cut the line hook of the phone. ...shit.
The chickens carried me to the grocery store. Wait, wasn't that the same grocery store I worked at? It is! And I remembered that I was closed that day! Oh my god!
The chickens then threw me to the butcher room, butchering me in the meat machine. I tried to escape as fast as I can, but the chickens keep haulting me, and force me to go back to the meat machine. I wasn't ready to die! I wasn't. Maybe by the time I finish this Creepypasta article, you will forget that this exists. This is not re
A TVBROBOTNIK/PROHIBITTHEBASTARD CREEPYPASTA