Have you ever heard of that famous ride at Disneyland.You know,Splash Mountain.The ride based on the hit film Song of The South.My family grew up low middle-class and we scrapped some cash together to go to Disneyland.I went with my father and my mother when i was a kid.We got to Critter Country,the location that houses the famous ride.My father couldn't walk that far to critter country and my mother hates drops so i went alone.The line was very long,since it was the middle of a hot summer day.Lots of people were waiting in line.''This ride's gonna be fun'',a young boy says to me.
Once i got to the ride,a cast member asked how many was in my party.I said it was just me and i got in a log.No one was behind me.The rest of the line was through the ride.''Have fun!''
The ride went on,going through a light drops and passing by the br'ers houses.I rode past a group of fishing geese,singing.I got to the part where br'er rabbit tricks br'er bear by getting him to tie himself up,but br'er rabbit was tied up.Br'er bear was standing there,laughing while br'er fox was screaming as a 50 ft dildo was up his ass.''OH MY GOD! HOLY SHIT!''
Br'er rabbit was tied up,crying.''OH LAWDY! I IS GONNA DIE!''
All i did was look in shock as i went down to the Laughin' Place.Br'er bear was sitting down with a bee hive on his nose.Br'er fox had someone stuck inside a beehive.As i got closer i released it was me.''I GOTCHA JOHN.YOU AIN'T GETTIN' OUT OF THIS RIDE BITCH!'' How did he know my name?Anyway,i got up the big hill leading to the drop i came here for.Now i wish i listened to the exits.On the side of the cave next to the drop was me,tied up over a fire.Br'er fox and br'er bear's shadows laughing.''Duh,we is gonna eat you,John,Br'er bear says.
The buzzards above me laughed at my apparent doom.As i got to the top,my mind was racing,wondering what was going to happen.
All the laughs echoed and became distant as i saw a bright light coming towards me.
I had a heart attack and was hospitalized.
They changed the ride's name to Ass Mountain.
But that was when i was 9.I'm free now in my apartment.
I watched Song of the South for the rest of the night as br'er rabbit,br'er fox,and br'er bear watched me through my window.
''We're always watching ya'',they said.