I am a big fan of That '70s Show! Remember that show? You know, a show about a group of teenagers in the 1970s that hang out, sometimes smoke weed, and do crazy stuff? It was an amazing show! However, there is a lost episode of That '70s Show! Literally, a lost episode.
I have That '70s Show merchandising wall-to-wall. DVDs, comics, coloring papers, posters, and an autograph of Fez's literal fez hat. I scroll down the torrents for more That '70s Show episodes, and I found a lost episode. I can tell, because the torrent said, LOSTEPISODEOFLIZARD70SSHOW.wmv. I did not think there was a lizard episode, but who cares, how bad can this episode be? I clicked on it, and downloaded it, and played the episode.
It starts out with Eric Foreman, the main character of the show, laying in the basement, but looking really disheveled. It looked like he broke down crying. The phone rang, and Eric picks up the phone, and when he answers, there was a strange sound of lizards. The audience was laughing, although I didn't find this funny. I find it to be... strange and chaotic.
We cut to his dad, Red laying on the couch, looking pissed, like he was about to murder someone! "Where's the fucking remote, you fucking dumbass!" yelled Red, without any censor bleeps, for some odd reason. His wife comes in, looking nervous, saying, "Do you wanna watch Droopy?" with Red responding yes, and they, now, are watching a lost Droopy episode, Nobody Likes Droopy Dog. They were laughing out loud and the audience laughed with them, but more demonic than ever!
Then, we cut to the basement. Eric, and his friends, Jackie, Donna, Fez, and Kelso looked really upset. They look like they were high, which of course is part of the show, but they look like they're sad. "Your parents must be brainwashed with Droopy." said Fez. "Well, fuck that, I'm gonna distract them with lizards!" said Eric, and were are the censor bleeps? "I don't get it. No Droopy? You don't fucking LIKE Droopy!" angered Fez, like he was gonna murder Eric. As Eric tried to form a sentence, Donna says, "Shut the fuck up, you stupid cunt! I'll fuck your father in his sleep!" This wasn't the actual That '70s Show I remembered. The audience laughed, but this wasn't funny! The laugh got louder and louder!
Meanwhile, we see Red laughing diabolically, and unusual too. He then mutters, "576 dollars spent!" The scene cut to Eric being tangled up in a lizard farm, with the words, "BAM!" appearing out of nowhere, in horribly dumb Comic Sans font. And then, Fez, Donna, Jackie, and Kelso race upstairs to murder his father, as he vomits red meat and blood, as he turns into a lizard, and the audience was laughing! THIS IS NOT FUNNY! Then, Kelso said, "I knew it. We are the lizards." And they turn into lizards. For the remainder of the episode, they drink Mountain Dew as lizards, and the words come and said, "HAPPY HALLOWEEN!" and we get to see the illuminati pyramid symbol, with a lizard on top. Strange, this wasn't even a Halloween episode.
I really got scared! I threw my posters away, the autographed fez, everything! And immediately threw the lost episode in the recycling bin, and I emptied it.
The next day, coming back from recycling the merchandising, and I got on the computer, the episode reappeared. This time, there were two! I don't want more! I had enough! I can't think of that show that same way ever! There were more and more and more! Then, lizards were in my room! And they look like me! It is true. We are the lizards! They piled up and ate me alive! The final thing I saw was Eric Foreman popping out of nowhere, laughing at my misery. That '70s Show is a lie.